ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Last night my old roommate/current next door neighbor came over and ate Thai food and hung out and we talked about lot of things together, like people we used to know, the Massachusetts Bay colony, politics, Kierkegaard, the hotties of history.  You know.  The kind of stuff friends talk about.  One of the things we talked about was specific characters we had the biggest crushes on from HBO’s “Band of Brothers” miniseries. Anyway, we were trying to decide who was cutest, Damian Lewis or Ron Livingston or perhaps Kirk Acevedo or Rick Gomez, nominated by me.  

And then she said, “Did you know John McCain used to be way hot?”  

“Really?” I said.  I sat up and immediately conducted a Google search for “young hot john mccain”.  And to my amazement, I realized that 200 years ago John McCain could have been an underwear model.  He’s not my exact taste, since my celebrity attractions tend toward dark-haired men with serious cocaine problems.  But still, not bad!

Seeing this picture made me feel a little sad that John McCain didn’t become President in 2000.  We could have bypassed the whole crazy-ass Sarah Palin thing.  Just look at him.  The wiry forearms.  The rolled-up sleeves.  The stylish sideburns and delicate yet manly little ears.  Those are the beautiful, smoldering eyes of a two-degrees-to-the-right centrist.  That could be the bedhead of a secret pro-choicer.  Anything becomes possible with Young Hot John McCain.  

That said, I still couldn’t vote for him in this election.  I’m still disappointed that I felt forced to vote for Obama instead, since that guy hardly represents me any better than the right-wing whack-jobs do, but if that poor, dear John McCain were to perish in office I think it might actually kill me to see the despicable Sarah Palin be the first woman President.  

I’m almost gagging as I type this, but…I would actually rather have the wretched Hillary Clinton as President than Sarah Palin.  And seriously, the idea of that practically makes me throw up in my lap.  Yuck.  I hate all our political representation in this country.  Except Kathleen Sebelius.  She’s my last great hope for a political moderate to get any power.

What would YHJM do?  Or should I say, WWYHJMD?

I should have voted Bob Barr.  I guess after this it’ll be Libertarian all the way.