ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Okay, it’s not quite “Barracuda”.  Nevermind.  

My husband got word today that the handgun he purchased was ready to be picked up at Cabela’s tonight, so when I got home from work a couple hours ago it was decided that I would work on dinner while he went to go get his new gun.  Dinner was going to be a fish chowder and I had made up my mind that it would be awesome.  But I got bored while I was waiting for him to come back, so I decided to have a glass of wine while I cooked.  Since I happened to have a half bottle of Beaujolais in the fridge.  Then I decided to have another glass of wine.  

After a while I decided it would be great if we had bread to eat with our chowder.  So I called my husband to see where he was.  But then I decided it wouldn’t be nice to make him drive all the way to the grocery store on the way home.  So I told him no biggie and I hung up and I stood there stirring the chowder and thinking about crusty, crispy bread.  I thought, maybe we have some crackers.  We didn’t.  Then I decided I would just go get some bread.  I grabbed my purse, scribbled “went to get bread, back soon” on a post-it and stuck it to the front door.  

I walked out the door and was halfway out on the porch before I spotted the empty driveway and remembered that my husband had taken the car.  Duh.  It was then that I realized perhaps I’d had too much wine to drive safely, if I couldn’t remember that my husband being somewhere with the car meant that I couldn’t drive it anywhere.  

This story isn’t really going anywhere.  I finished the half-bottle of Beaujolais and my husband came home and I asked him if I could hold the gun.  The gun had a tag on it that said “only point in a safe direction” so I was very careful to observe this.  Because I’d had three glasses of wine, I demanded that my husband take my picture holding the gun in a safe direction in the kitchen.  Then I told him, “If we ever have kids, you have to teach all of them proper gun safety and we will have a locked place to keep them and they will not get to see guns without adult supervision.”  He said OK.  

The chowder was delicious and I opened a box of croutons to eat with it.  I’ll plan to post a recipe sometime.  In the meanwhile, enjoy these images.