ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Yesterday after work I drove over to Hancock Fabrics to take advantage of the terrific McCall’s pattern sale they are having this weekend, but since I still had to pick up the dog from the vet before we met my boyfriend’s dad and his wife for dinner, I had to hurry home without tarrying too long.  So I was driving north on Metcalf and as always, I got stuck at the 75th Street light, which is a guaranteed long wait, so I was fiddling with the CD player a little and then I looked up and noticed this yellow sticker on a minivan.

If you can’t read that, it says:  “These tools were bought with UNION-NEGOTIATED WAGES . . . if you are not a member . . . KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF!”

I couldn’t imagine why someone would attach such a stupid notice to their vehicle. If someone is already unscrupulous enough to break into it and steal tools, what makes this guy think that person would give a shit that he’s union?  Besides, he’s driving a beat up minivan around.  I see a pickup and I think, sure, might be tools in it.  If I were hoping to steal some expensive power tools, I’d look for pickups that have the toolbox attached over the bed up by the cab.  I wouldn’t check someone’s 10 year old minivan unless I was hoping to steal some tools manufactured by PlaySkool.  Or a half-inflated soccer ball.

So doesn’t it seem kind of stupid to basically announce the presence of valuable equipment in your vehicle, when there was no reason for anyone to assume it was there to begin with?  If I’d seen this on the back of a truck that looked like it belonged to some type of contractor or general laborer, I don’t think I’d have thought twice about it.  It’s already obvious there might be tools in that vehicle, so no harm done and maybe it really would make a difference.

But to basically say to potential thieves that yes, there is something worth stealing here and while it has occurred to the owner that it might cross someone’s mind to act on that information, the owner is ordering them to observe some nebulous moral imperative based on their union status, irrespective of the idea that they were probably already lacking the necessary moral fiber to begin with if they were considering STEALING SOMEONE’S LIVELIHOOD?

Well, that just seems silly.

Nobody wants his crummy union-bought Fisher Price sawhorse, anyway.