ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

This has been kind of a bad mood week at our house.  We’ve been scrambling at my work to get ready for year-end close, which begins next week, and I made a mistake on the budget that my boss didn’t catch and it accidentally understated projected salary expenses by $389,000 and my boss had to stay late tonight trying to balance the budget and she was really nice about it even though I know it was awful for her and I feel terrible.  It’s been a hot sticky week, which makes his job, mostly consisting of manual labor, unpleasant and sweaty.  He is having car trouble today, and we had to drive over to his job site so he could attempt to fix the car.  It did not work, so we will need to work out some means by which we can both get to work on one car tomorrow morning. Our meatloaf turned out poorly tonight, and I oversalted the mashed potatoes.  Also, I have felt bloaty all day.  We kept having power outages at work and every time it happened, I had to reboot, open up all my spreadsheets again, figure out what got saved and what didn’t, and generally try to find my place again.

I went to the library after work and checked out Road to Perdition, which I was thinking about recently because I saw the movie last week or the week before.  I am supposed to be reading Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, which my coworker friend loaned me, but I haven’t been making progress as quickly as I want, because I don’t like to take it to work to read on the bus because it has the word sex in it.  I took it the other day and the bus driver asked me what it was called because he likes to read and talk about books, and I was a little embarrassed to say the title, but I tried to pretend not to be.

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs is one of those books that makes me wonder why I haven’t bothered to attempt being a published author.  It is entertaining, but it also has the casual feel of something that he just sat down and started writing without any real research or anything.  Possibly while high.  I’m not criticizing.  It makes me think, though, is my personal laziness the only thing keeping me from writing a book like that?  Am I being ridiculous to think I could do just as well?  I’ve seen published shit that was pretty bad.  I’m not talking about Mr. Klosterman. He has an interesting, highly stylized form of gutter language that he uses to communicate his points, which are often a little self-aggrandizing but forgivable for this all the same.  He likes Billy Joel a lot more than I do.

I don’t know how I straggled onto this topic.  People aren’t showing up here to read about an accountant who really wants to be a quirky humor writer like Dave Barry or David Sedaris.  They are showing up here because they Google searched for “dog called kitty book review” or “why am I so hungry on yaz“.