ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

This morning my boyfriend and I went to the 10:30 matinee of Iron Man. Even though I have never been an enormous comics reader and I don’t know jack shit about the Avengers, I have been looking forward to this movie because of how much I adore everything about Robert Downey, Jr. I mean, he is in serious competition with Alec Baldwin, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I find him practically the most attractive man on the entire planet. If it wouldn’t be so damn scratchy, I would try to find a way to trick my boyfriend into having facial hair just like Robert Downey, Jr. That’s not the half of it. His personality is also terrific. You women, keep your Brad Pitts and your Patrick Dempseys. Bah!

I’m not much for writing reviews, but I will say that I enjoyed Iron Man more than pretty much any other superhero movie I have seen, and I am taking Batman Begins, which I also liked a lot, into account here. Thinking on this, I think I pretty much always prefer “pissed off millionnaire genius with cool gadgets” heroes over the others. I just admire their chutzpah. And, I mean, it’s easier to be great when you have amazing superhuman powers. But when you are just a regular old run of the mill rich genius, I think you deserve a lot more credit for your super accomplishments.

Also, evil bald Jeff Bridges was pretty great.

When we left the movie, I felt a little bummed thinking about what I had to look forward to for the rest of the day. After spending the morning watching the glorious Tony Stark womanizing, building a computerized metal fighting suit, and verbally abusing his robot assistants, my plans to work on a sewing project, cook a meatloaf and get some housework done seemed too impossibly mundane to bear.

I thought about this as we drove away from the movie theater, playing with the window controls as I drove. “This is the closest I can get to being like Iron Man,” I told my boyfriend, who was studiously not saying anything about my behavior.

After lunch, I asked, “So do you think he got named Iron Man because the red color implies his suit is ferrous, or was it just catchy?”

“I don’t know,” said my boyfriend. I think he was getting tired of me bringing up how much I liked Iron Man.

Anyway, somehow I was able to come back home and make myself get down to business, even though it was sort of depressing to have to admit my life is nothing like a superhero movie.