ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

The other night we needed to hit the ATM and mail my boyfriend’s tax return. We headed up to the post office in Mission, but when we were coming up Metcalf, it was so hugely backed up due to the April 15 deadline that after we left the bank, I drove us home so that he could go out and make the trip himself. Hey, I mailed my taxes in last week so that I could avoid having to go through this, and I didn’t want to sit in the car waiting for a long time just to get up to the post office.

He actually came back sooner than I expected, and reported that the huge traffic jam was actually due to a Michael Moore film crew camped out in front of the post office, which was causing major congestion. As he was coming up, one of them marched in front of him and stuck a microphone in his face.

“What did they say?” I asked.

“They demanded to know, what do I think about how our tax money is being put to work?”

“What did you say?” I asked.

“‘Out of my way, scum!’”

I know he really said this, because I have been with him before when things like this happened. And a tiny part of me thrilled at this story. I am talking about the part of me that is still 16 years old and impressed by a story of someone being rude to an obnoxious, intrusive person who is contributing to a major traffic jam that is keeping people from visiting both the post office and a Target store in a timely fashion.

Sometimes my boyfriend is, like, a personal hero of mine.