ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

I am one of the few people on this planet who actually enjoys TV ads and looks forward to watching good ones. Especially the Rozerem commercials where the man hangs out with Abraham Lincoln and a giant anthropomorphic beaver in his dreams.  We record all our TV and my boyfriend fast forwards through all the commercials, but he is trained to stop and rewind the programming if a Rozerem commercial is on.  If I ever get a sleep disorder that is the prescription sleep aid I want.

I try to reward companies with advertising that I enjoy by supporting their products. Like the other night on TV I saw a Starbuck’s animated ad where a girl is walking around on snowshoes and she sees a bear. There is a long, pregnant pause and then she approaches the bear and hugs it. Miraculously, it does not maul her. It draws back, surprised, then returns the hug. A rabbit runs around. I liked this ad so much that even though I do not normally go to Starbuck’s and in fact have not gone in like two years, I made a special trip to the one at 89th & Metcalf, primarily to support this ad campaign with the hugging bear. This is partially because I am a Coca Cola drinker for life and therefore am naturally predisposed to endorse brands or products that feature friendly bears. Even though I came from Pepsi drinkers.

I also do the reverse and punish companies with stupid ads. When I say this I am specifically talking about the Wendy’s ad where a guy dressed in a red yarn wig stands up at a press conference and starts ranting and raving about having choices and of course he’s referring to the options on their value menu. I hate this commercial so much that I have not eaten at Wendy’s since, like, July. And I really like Wendy’s.

My boycott will not last forever. It would be stupid to punish myself as much as I like to pretend I am punishing Wendy’s. I know that statistically, my Wendy’s abstinence doesn’t matter to them. But it gives me a lot of satisfaction to withdraw my previously loyal patronage as a direct response to one of the worst commercials currently on TV.

My caramel apple cider from Starbuck’s was delicious, by the way. That corporate empire knows its winter beverages! And because the man working there did not correct me when I ordered a “small” cider instead of calling it a “tall” like their stupid menu does, I put money in the tip jar. That’s because I believe in positive reinforcement.