ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Today a friend alerted me to a new internal audit position posted with another good company in the area, one with which I am fairly familiar. I started working on a cover letter right way, but my heart just isn’t in it. I think I used all my energy up on my other recent failed applications and I’m getting sick of putting so much work into these things only to have nothing ever pan out. So I wrote the world’s most generic, piss-weak cover letter. I’m not shooting for spectacular and engaging, because that would require real time and effort. I’m going for “adequate”.

Dear Hiring Manager:

I have spent over a year now working with the Internal Audit department at [my company]. I have very much enjoyed working on my company’s Sarbanes-Oxley team, and am interested in joining a larger team with potential for advancement in the future.

Because I have spent the majority of my time with [my company] working on SOX 404 compliance and internal control assessment, I feel I would be a good candidate for this role. My work with [my company] has taught me the fundamentals of internal audit, such as control analysis and design, testing attributes, and technique. It has also made me more comfortable working with deadlines and improved my time management and interpersonal skills.

I have also recently had the opportunity to assist with process documentation and analysis for an acquisition company planned to come into scope for next year’s SOX project. In addition, I am currently working toward CPA certification, which I feel will give me a stronger foundation of audit and accounting knowledge.

If you are interested in a candidate who is enthusiastic, eager to meet new challenges, even-keeled, fun and easy to work with, and above all, who is ready to step into this role and exceed all expectations, please consider contacting me.

Sincerely,

[me]

I’m kind of burned out on the job hunting thing, so I don’t have quite the supply of confidence and enthusiasm that I did when I started out. But I still felt it would be kind of underwhelming to say I was “ready to step into this role and meet all expectations,” even though that is probably closer to the truth. Other than that, the only way it could be lamer is if I had actually listed the other big reason I would want to work there, which is “because it would be convenient to eat in your cafeteria every day.”