ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

A couple weeks ago my car, which is a 1996 Camry with a broken door handle that forces me to roll the crank window down and open the door from the outside, had a major cooling system meltdown. We resolved the problem by replacing the radiator, but the car was still leaking in places so I left it home with my boyfriend while I was on the Baltimore trip. While I was gone, he drove it to work during the day and did a couple of things to make it stop puking its coolant into the driveway every night. But when I came back, he broke the news to me that it didn’t have nearly the life left that I’d thought. The clutch is getting ready to die, and apparently it is getting ready to face failure of several internal organ systems.

So we are shopping for new cars. I’m considering a variety of makes and models. We went over to Baron on Shawnee Mission Parkway this afternoon and test drove the new Volkswagen Rabbit. I originally wanted to test drive it so I could find an excuse to remove it from my list, but we were both surprised by how much we liked it. Also, I liked the dealership. We talked with a guy named Frank, who waited just the right amount of time before coming over to check on us, and who let us do a test drive right away so we could see if we even liked it. The only thing about Frank was, he is obviously in love with German engineering. He couldn’t stop saying the words “German engineering”, either. There were a number of things about the car which I found to be most excellent, all of which he attributed to German engineering. I imagine he feels even their warranty, which is better than that of the other cars I looked at, is better somehow due to German engineering. When we got in the Camry to leave, my boyfriend said, “You know, I heard about these special German engineered showers, maybe we should check into that too.” I was most grateful he didn’t say that in front of Frank, because then I would be too embarrassed to buy a car from him even if I decided I wanted the Rabbit a lot. Frank gave us a special DVD and information manual about the rabbit, and we traded cards, then left. The other thing was, he let us drive the car alone so we could decide if we liked it without him lurking in the backseat. I give Baron an A+ in the “I’m just shopping” category.

After Baron we went down the road to Superior Toyota. They were having some kind of sale, so they were very busy. When we finally got to talk to a very nice salesperson named Jay, I told him I wanted to try test driving some cars first thing so I could see what we liked. No, that would not do. Jay wanted to talk about financing options for a half hour before letting me near a car. Then, even though I wanted to test drive a Yaris, he insisted that it was “not your style” and that he thought a Corolla was a better fit. Since he could not possibly know jack shit about me personally, I assume what he meant was the commission from a Yaris was not his style, which I sort of resented. Still, I was considering the Corolla and Matrix in addition to the Yaris, so I went along with this.

“My English, it is okay?” Jay asked anxiously as we walked to the car. I did not mention this, but he is Indian, and he actually speaks rather good English. I told him his English was fine, and that I have an Indian friend anyway, so I had no trouble understanding him. What I did have trouble with, though, was breaking the news that I did not like the Corolla. The best thing I could really say about it was, is it acceptable, I guess. It would be like, if I kept my Camry and could magically restore it to new condition. Part of the problem might have been that I was test driving an automatic (since they didn’t have any manuals in stock), and my Camry is a stick, but when I took it on the highway it had less get up and go than my 12 year old car. That’s pretty pathetic. “So, what do you think?” Jay asked as the car struggled to accelerate to highway speeds on a downhill on ramp. I had no idea what to say, so I told him the air conditioning seemed “really nice” and it “appears to have a lot of options.” That seemed to make him happy. The interior of the Corolla is pretty dated, and has a cheap plastic feel. When I looked at the vanity mirror on the back of the visor, the bits of plastic flashing leftover from when it was molded hadn’t been sanded off. It was like the difference between getting a nice Barbie doll for Christmas and getting an offbrand fashion doll with “made in China” printed on the butt. The Corolla is off our list. It costs more than the Rabbit, looks ugly and cheap inside, and doesn’t have good enough gas mileage to justify choosing it instead. Also, it doesn’t like to, um, go.

Since my boyfriend and I wanted to escape from Superior Toyota as fast as possible, we declined to test drive anything else and made our exit as fast as possible, even though Jay and his boss were trying to get us into a new car this very afternoon. Yeah, whatever. We decided to test drive the other cards elsewhere rather than endure another moment at Superior, with whom we have vowed never to do business unless they have some kind of crazy sale we can’t pass up.