ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

This weekend I decided to check out the new Showtime/BBC original series “The Tudors”. I did this because HBO’s “Rome” just ended and it occurred to me that this new program is probably Showtime’s answer to that. Now, here’s the thing. I’ve only seen two episodes of “The Tudors” but there is something inescapably inferior about it in comparison to “Rome”.

Maybe it’s that the characters seem silly, not that European aristocracy isn’t rather silly anyway, or maybe it’s that the program has to keep reminding the stupid audience who the hell Anne Boleyn is at every opportunity. Or maybe it’s that the whole thing just seems like a vehicle for soft core porno with fancy costumes. Lest you think I bring this up because of some squeamishness I feel about sexual topics, I will mention that Rome also had a lot of sex, much of it in the context of violent, bloody rape scenes, and it was a nonissue for me. So I don’t think that’s it.

In the episode we watched tonight, the Duke of Buckingham gave Henry VIII a fancy gold clock. Henry stood in the bedchamber where he had already gotten it on with a bunch of ladies in fancy outfits, contemplating his new timepiece with complete seriousness. My boyfriend paused the recording as the king stood there looking thoughtful. We looked at each other and realized we were both wondering the same thing: was Henry VIII a clock rapist?