ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

I have reached the zenith of personal hygiene.

We keep staying at these Holiday Inn Express hotels and these places just keep getting better and better! When we stayed at one in Bakersfield, CA a while back I thought it was fine, I mean maybe nothing special but it was good. Then on this current trip, we stayed in Fort Wayne, IN for two nights and I was impressed by how much nicer it was, just better bedding and so on. Then we get here to Greenwood which is apparently some suburb on the south side of Indianapolis and the place has a tub which may in fact be larger than Lake Michigan.

Thanks to the Holiday Inn Express of Greenwood I have now had what I consider the ultimate bathing experience of my life to date. I had sort of a date to go get a beer with a friend in town tonight before I turned in, but I’m sorry to say that I passed him up in order to maximize my leisure time with this bathtub. When I called him on the phone to explain this, though, he agreed that I’d be stupid to pass up a tub like that.

Before she retired to her own room, my coworker friend told me to try not to use all the water in Indiana for my bath. Sure sure, I thought and then I filled up this monster tub all the way. It took like 30 minutes to fill but it was so worth it. It was long enough for me to lie all the way down in, and I plugged my nose and did that thing where you lie down with your head underwater and listen to the water sounds. I haven’t been little enough to do that in a regular tub since I was a kid.

I know my life can never be complete until I can have a tub like this for myself. Even if I can’t afford it until I’m 50 and then I can’t afford to fill it more than once a month like a pool or something, and I have to keep a staff of 25 maids to clean it, I have to manage this somehow. Also it would be ideal if my version of this tub could be set into a big platform with steps going up, and have a book rack thing and I could set a platter of grapes and at least 4 cheeses on the platform thing.

I wish I were staying here the rest of the week.