ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Our transfer girl didn’t come in to work any extra hours today, which my head teller and I took to mean that she successfully debuted as an exotic dancer last night. I hope I get to find out her stripper name tomorrow. We’re rolling out a bunch of new collections stuff right now, which means that we’re putting a newfound emphasis on GETTING OUR MONEY BACK.

I assume this is related to the new stuff that will be happening in July. I need to put in for my vacation time before then, so I can actually get my time off at the end of June. I got a ton of shit done at work today. When my head teller and I did the store audit today we found a ton of shit that she’d screwed up, which is bad timing for her considering that my boss wasn’t very happy about her not auditing her drawer properly last Friday and missing the fact that she’d cashed a check for the wrong amount. I only discovered it after her drawer was closed out that evening, so there wasn’t anything to be done other than log a difference in the check deposit. It was only 5 cents this time, but he was still pretty annoyed because this is the third time she’s done it and he told me last time that he’d be at the end of his rope if she did it again. I think it’s not so much the fact of her mistakes that he hates so much as the fact that she ignores our advice and instructions on how to avoid them and catch them before she leaves for the day. He said he’s thinking the only cure for her disease is to have the phone surgically removed from her head.

I think having to spend every Wednesday alone with her while my head teller and I are off is slowly beginning to kill my boss on the inside, something I gathered by how crazy his eyes look now whenever her name is mentioned. Earlier today I had a minor freakout spell because she had accidentally put two new loans away with the paid loans, which made it seem like the loans were missing entirely, at least until the head teller had the bright idea to look in the paid file. When my boss heard about this, he said, “Good thing they weren’t lost, because I’d have about killed her if she shredded them or something.”

“Don’t be unkind, [my boss],” I told him. “If you kill her she can never fulfill her dream of becoming an exotic dancer.”

“She might be able to fulfill that dream on a full time basis if she keeps this shit up,” was his reply.

I read in the Star today that they’re gathering another petit jury to try the Westar case. It seems far too coincidental not to be related to my sudden summons for a mysterious ten week federal trial. I know it’s doubtful that I’d even get picked, but I love the idea of sitting on the jury for this accounting fraud case. I’m thinking that my accounting background might disqualify me from serving anyway. Damn. I know it would cause me so many problems to serve on this case, but if it’s the one I think it is I’d love to do it.