ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

I cleaned out the refrigerator tonight after I finished my final and found a bottle of spumonte from Christmastime and split it with my roommate as a celebration of being done with my accounting class today. Partway through the bottle I remembered that I was supposed to call our transfer girl and remind her to bring her social security card for her I-9 form, but unfortunately my roommate was already drunk and running around screaming while I was on the phone, so it was a difficult phone call, punctuated by me yelling at my roommate to shut up, couldn’t she see I was on the phone, etc., etc. Our transfer girl couldn’t stop laughing, so I assume my boss will hear all about it tomorrow and give me shit on Friday. Oh, well. At least I wasn’t the one acting drunk and stupid.

After we finished the bottle we started discussing our new pope Benedict XVI. I saw him all over the news yesterday and thought, “Is that the ex-Nazi papal candidate? Naaaah, couldn’t be,” but I was wrong. He’s the first German pontiff since the 17th century or something, and apparently he’s a hugely ultraconservative guy. How great. Just what everyone needs.

A few days ago my boyfriend said, “If I get picked as the new pope, my pope name will be Lucifer Satanicus I.”

“Probably part of the reason you won’t be selected as the new pope,” I told him.