ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Some anonymous person from our company, who I hope is going to hell, signed me up for this Muscular Dystrophy Association lockup thing about a month ago, without asking me and without checking in advance whether I actually have the “big heart” I was charged and sentenced with. It’s a nice program, and for a good cause, and I’m glad it’s going to help some sick kids. But I’ve been guiltily furious all day that I got stuck with it against my will. Maybe being angry about having to do it means that I don’t care about sick kids and that I’m a bad person, but the whole thing was seriously spoiled for me because I was never consulted about whether I actually wanted to do it, and was essentially just told when I had to serve my “sentence”. The whole experience, much like actual jail, was unrewarding and unworth it to me. I had to spend three hours worth of my day off today, which I should have spent studying for midterms, phoning up people I know so I could guilt them too into donating money for muscular dystrophy, and I spent every minute of the time I “served” resenting whoever had done this to me. The only somewhat redeeming factor was that we were told to tell people we were calling from jail and were trying to raise bail, which provoked some interesting reactions, namely from my boyfriend’s roommate, who said “What?” in an extremely startled voice, and my father, who asked me tersely if I was on drugs. It wouldn’t have been so bad, actually, if I had been given a choice about being there.

I will find some way to avoid being in this situation this next year. I will sign up for it myself or not do it at all.

In Thanksgiving news, a guy who reads our website sent me a recipe for what he says is the best ever Thanksgiving turkey, so I’m going to try it because it sounds great. The recipe calls for soaking the turkey in salt water for six hours to make it keep its moisture, so I bought an orange five gallon paint bucket from Home Depot so we can do that. I figure if we seal the bucket tightly and leave it on the porch for the six hours on Wednesday and keep an eye on it, then animals won’t bother it and it’ll be cold enough out there that the turkey won’t give us worms or food poisoning.