ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

I found another me who lives in California. Every couple of months or so, I search Google for my name just to see what turns up, and usually it’s the same old shit. But today I found a small town news website with a quote attributed to some person with my name, who was asked in a random opinion poll whether sex offenders ought to have to report to police and do they deserve any privacy if they seem rehabilitated, etc, etc, and so on. Her reply, paraphrased here, was that “I think it’s a good thing, because the issue of safety outweighs the offender’s privacy rights,” my first reaction was rage at having been so seriously misquoted. Then I thought, wait, when did anybody ever ask me my opinion on this. Then I thought, wait, this publication is based in California, a state that I’ve never visited.

So either someone else has my name, or somebody stole my identity and is so in character that they’re giving my name to random newspaper people. I rooted around a little bit and am trying to figure out if I can find any traces of this mysterious other me. I have sort of a semi-unusual last name so I’m very curious about her. I hope I turn out to be older so I’ll know that I had our name first. Not that I’ll probably ever find out.