ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

A regular customer came in to get a new payday loan. Her last loan had gone for deposit about a week ago, which meant that in order for her to get a new loan this soon I would have to see proof that it had cleared. But she had a quick question first, she said.

“Last week you didn’t deposit my check on time,” she complained. “Why not?”

I looked her up in the computer again and saw that her check had been scheduled for deposit correctly and that it had been deposited as planned on the day in question, which had been a Saturday. I told her this.

“But it didn’t clear my bank until Tuesday,” she said. “Why?”

I was puzzled. “I guess I’m not entirely clear on what you’re asking,” I told her.

“I just want to know why you deposited my check late,” she said.

“But we didn’t,” I explained. “Your check was scheduled for deposit that Saturday, and that’s when it was made up for deposit. That same day. No mistake was made.”

“No, you don’t get it,” she said. “It didn’t come out of my account on Saturday. You deposited it late.”

“Ma’am,” I said. “The banks were closed that Saturday evening when we did deposits. So your check didn’t even get processed until Monday. It’s remarkable that it cleared as quickly as it did,” I added.

“But you took the money out of my account late. It was supposed to come out on Saturday. It was late.”

“Ma’am, you have to understand that it takes time for a check to clear the bank. Having a check on Saturday doesn’t mean that we magically have our money that day. The check has to physically travel from place to place as it gets processed. You should always assume that it takes at least a few days to clear.”

“But,” she repeated stupidly, “Why didn’t it come out of my account on time?”

By this point my boss had been listening to this for a couple of minutes and was now cackling maniacally at me from the back of the store.

“Ma’am,” I said again. “Your check was not actually late because it is assumed that a certain amount of time has to elapse before a check clears the bank. Now, in the future you’ll just have to assume that it takes a few days.”

“So you always deposit them late like this?” she asked.

“Yes. Is that going to be a problem? You could always come and pay for your checks in person, you know.”

“No, it’s no problem, it cleared just fine,” she said. “I just wondered.”

I wondered, too. I wondered, not for the first time, whether the bulletproof glass was meant to protect me from the customers, or the customers from me. It was a Friday night and the banks were closed, so alas, she was unable to return that evening for a new loan. Instead she came back the following morning with a bank printout showing that the check had cleared. I took her printout and directed her to write a new check.

“First I had a real quick question,” she said.

“Sure, what is it?” I asked.

“That check there, you deposited it late. I was just wondering about that.”

It was like we hadn’t even had the conversation the night before. It was a total repeat of all the above. Now I make my boss help this lady when she comes in.