ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

To tie up a few loose ends on some the personal life storylines I’ve begun recently:

1. I put Pippin in the cage with the other two rats and supervised his introduction back into ratty society. No fighting or scrabbling occurred, and he ate some more food. When I woke up this morning they were all sleeping in one big ball of rat. I think I need to come up with a bigger option for caging. I want to keep this cage they’ve got, but I think I’m going to explore any options I might have to add on to it or to make it larger in some way. Also, I read that wire floors are bad for rat feet, and the second level of the cage is made of wire.

2. I called the Wyandotte Code Enforcement division about the letter I received Wednesday. It took me all day, but I finally got to speak to a nice man, who offered to come out and show me exactly what needs to be done. He came by this morning and told me what to do, and also said that because I’d been so willing and eager to get everything taken care of properly, he would waive the fine of $100. He said if things got taken care of really fast, he would drop all the charges and I wouldn’t even have to pay the $39.50 for court fees. He also explained that my case had originally been cited by a totally different officer, who resigned, and all that man’s cases had been given to other officers. So maybe this is why I never got a notification for the court date.

3. The new girl missed work on Tuesday because her sister and her niece and nephew were in a bad car accident on Sunday, and she was at Shawnee Mission Medical Center with them. She finally called, sounding awful, around 2 PM Tuesday. My manager told her she can have all the time off that she needs, but just to make sure she always calls. She was back yesterday, and was doing all right. Her little nephew is in a coma, so they had to transfer him to Children’s Mercy Hospital. I feel bad for her. I tried to be super nice to her all day but she was all bummed. Understandably. As for my drawer and hers, I haven’t been short any cash since the $100 on Friday, August 20, and she hasn’t been short any since the $99.80 on Friday the 27th. I’ve had three perfect weeks as of today, so it looks like my new practice of always locking my drawer is forcing me to be more focused, as I had hoped.

In the last couple weeks at work our regional director has become very strict about stores who practice any underwriting for payday loans. In the past our regional manager had required certain standards of income and employment for loans of varying amounts, but then the RD sent out an e-mail saying that this was unacceptable and anyone who did this would be disciplined and he would be sending droves of secret shoppers. Because RD is known to fire entire stores who displease him, everyone at our store immediately did exactly as we were told even though we all think it’s total bullshit to have no requirements for loans. So there are only two requirements now: ID and checks. “Oh, you’re chronically unemployed? $100 payday loan’ll fix you right up!” “You make $250 a month and your checking account’s been closed for 10 years? No problem, we trust you!” Then RD sent out a second e-mail that said basically that a bunch of stores (Who? Where?) had failed their secret shops and he was very displeased and now anyone who failed a shop would probably be fired and in addition everyone in the store, and also the area and regional managers, would be written up for it. He also said we had to sign this e-mail and fax it back to him. Then the day after that I took this call:

Me: Thanks for calling [company], this is [my name], how can I help you?
Some lady: Yes, I’d like to ask about the stipulations for receiving a payday loan.
Me: Oh, that’s very simple. There are only two requirements, you need a photo ID and your personal check.
SL: Okay, those are the only two requirements?
Me: [This is rocket science?!] Yes, only your ID and check.
SL: You’re certain those are the only two? Maybe I need my paystub and bank statement?
Me: [confused] Yes. [pause] Well, I meant yes, those are the only two. No, you don’t need anything else. Sorry if I wasn’t clear about that. Is there anything else you need?
SL: No, thanks! So I’ll bring my ID and my checkbook, and I also need my paystub and bank statement. Gotcha.
Me: If it would make you feel more comfortable to bring additional items, you’re welcome to, but they are definitely not required. We just ask that you bring your ID and a personal check with you.
SL: Great, that’s all I needed to know! Bye!
Me: Goodbye.

When I told my boss about how the lady on the phone seemed to be trying confuse me into saying that there were extra requirements for a payday loan, he said that if that was a secret shop the whole thing was total bullshit. I agree, but we’re both in the same boat here and can’t do anything about any of it. It’s our job to be quiet and do what we’re told even if we have reservations about whether this is sensible. It’s not our business to run! As long as it’s not unethical we don’t really have any justifiable reason not to obey. So our plan is to keep secret documentation on which customers have closed accounts and so on, so that we’ll at least be able to try and get them to come in and pay in person so we won’t have to deposit their checks. We’ll see how all this works. Maybe we’ll be surprised and we’ll find out that our customers actually follow the honor system and will come pay for checks even when their accounts are closed. Cough.