ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

We finally have our furniture, although it is with great bitterness that I note we have 38 hours and 41 minutes remaining until our window of internet installation begins. The furniture people were supposed to arrive at around eight in the morning, but they called at 6:20 and said that they’d be there in ten minutes. Two minutes later they pulled up outside, stuck all our furniture in the living room, and left. The whole thing was done by 6:22 or so, which baffled me because it was actually earlier than the ten minute destination time they’d given me on the phone. At least they weren’t late.

We still haven’t gotten a lawn mower, because the model we want is apparently out of stock at every store in the area. I don’t want to buy anything more expensive, because all the more expensive stuff is way more expensive, and I don’t want to buy anything cheaper, because everything cheaper kinda sucks. Apparently one of the ladies on the block is totally bitchy about people’s lawns, so we’ve decided to take preventative measures and bake and issue cookie rations to our closest neighbors next Sunday, including a card saying hi, and by the way we plan to mow our lawn soon. As a preliminary measure in the yard, we bought two bottles of RoundUp and sprayed it on the poison ivy, oak, and sumac that are threatening to take over the shed and all three flowerbeds. I may have to cede victory to the 100 acres of poison oak in the front ditch by the mailbox, however. It hissed and bared its teeth at me when I approached.

For good measure I also applied a generous helping of RoundUp to the two anthills I found in the flowerbed near our side walk. Tomorrow night I’ll see how dead everything looks, and reapply if necessary.