ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

I got a spam e-mail which is unlike any other I’ve seen. I assume it’s somebody trying to sell sexual enhancement pills because that’s what 90% of spam is anyway (remaining 10% is Nigerian scams or pyramid schemes), but the copy in their “ad” doesn’t make any sense. I had to call my neighbor in for confirmation on this, but it’s a picture of Master Shredder, uh, making whoopie with April O’Neil from behind. As in, from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The image is pretty small, so if you can’t read the text too well, it says in all pink letters “I AM YOUR WOOZY-OOZY” and in smaller letters “CUTIE LITTLE BRAIN”. In the corner it says in white letters “OUR PILLS MADE HIM SO SWEET!” I can’t figure out if the person who made this ad even speaks English. Master Shredder, as the villain of a 1980s Saturday morning cartoon program, is undeniably not sweet so it’s possible they’re saying that after this unlikely couple used their performance pills, even someone like Master Shredder became extremely desirable to poor April. But I will never understand that woozy oozy cutie little brain thing. I tried following the link but it was dead, which made me sad because I was desperate to know what it all meant.