ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Today my roommate and I went to a day spa here in town to get waxed. I would say that it was one of the singularly most fulfilling moment of our lives to date. Well, as much as having hair ripped from your poor body can be fulfilling, anyway. We bought a lot of products afterward.

The liquid soap I bought from the salon is called Dr. Bronner’s Magic Castile Soap, and it has a lot of crazy gibberish printed all over the bottle in very small type.

“Thank God we don’t descend down from perfect Adam & Eve to sinful sinner, Brother’s Keeper, divided slave! United, hardworking-trained-brave, from dust we ascend up! Thank God for that! Our Brother’s Teacher of the Moral ABC mason Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free!”

I am not shitting you. It really says that. Even if the soap doesn’t turn out to be all that great, I’m pretty sure I’ll go back and buy the other varieties too, just to see what the shit they say on the bottle.