ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

I spent a glorious and exciting weekend on the far shores of Iowa accompanying my boyfriend to a family gathering. My car is dead again, but more on that later. I hadn’t spent much time with his family before, but they are very nice. Also, it was like 10 degrees cooler there than it is here. I spent the first part of the weekend being tuckered out and tired, but Saturday night I rediscovered all the fun that’s to be had roughhousing with children when his 13 year old sister and 9 year old cousin decided I was their tickle target. We rolled around laughing and tickling each other in the yard for a while, after which we played an incredibly long game of Capture the Flag with the other cousins.

Since I was undeniably the least athletic and the most incompetent member of either team, I was used mainly as a recon agent for my team, which entailed me standing on the edge of our territory and announcing the actions of the other team. Warnings like, “Enemy unit in tricky disguise skulking in bushes at north perimeter!” and “Two enemy units congregating at enemy base. Whispered conversation. Angry looks!” quickly popularized me with all the people playing who happened to be on my team. I consider it a notable achievement that I’ve finally managed to become popular with 12 and 13 year olds, something that I had to wait about 10 years to pull off. I guess now I just need to work on the kids my own age. In particular I enjoyed the words of my boyfriend’s 11 year old cousin, who during the Capture the Flag game repeatedly informed me that he hated me so much (!) and whom I later overheard remarking, “Mom, she’s awesome! I want her to come back next time!” It was a great boost to the self image, as you can imagine.

It was a great night, and the next day after lots begging and wheedling I was coaxed to put on a borrowed bathing suit and play in the pool with everyone. Despite my protests, I stayed and played in the pool for hours, sustaining a horrible and incredibly painful sunburn in the process. I figure I had it coming, though, since this is my first real sunburn in the last 9 years or so. My boyfriend’s aunts, cousins, and mother managed to convince me that looking fat in a bathing suit is a small price to pay for the incredible fun that can be had playing in a pool, and it seems now that they were right. If I took away nothing else from this wonderful weekend—and I did, so it’s kind of a silly figure of speech—I at least managed to overcome my vanity and embarrassment regarding swimming. I doubt I’ll be in much hurry to go to a crowded pool and show myself off, but I think I can perhaps handle the pool at our apartment complex.