ACCOUNTANT BY DAY

Today I did a number of exciting things, such as buying a cordless optical mouse on sale at Lawrence’s shitty new Best Buy, and spending an hour trying to make it work only to find that I had the batteries in backwards. Before you assume I’m retarded (I am) please understand that the battery setup was very weird, and that I’m used to the kind of thing where the butt end (negative) of the battery is resting against the springs. However, they had some kind of weird arrangement where the bump end (positive) was against the springs, and this was not clearly indicated. Anyway, I spent an hour working on it and wanted to die when I discovered the problem.

I found a notebook under my bed with a curious scrawled note on it. I am mystified as to the origin and motivation for what I wrote, but it’s definitely and undeniably my writing. The only possible explanation I can think of is that for a while I was attempting to write down some of my dreams so that I could remember them later, which resulted in a number of bizarre and near-illegible messages to myself. For example, one time I had a dream in which Agent Smith of The Matrix was talking to Link from Zelda. He said to him, “Get your ass out to the front lines right now, or there will be shock and damage.” That was a pretty weird dream, but at least I remembered it later when I saw the note.

I don’t remember this one at all, so I can’t explain any of it. It just sounds weird, and if anyone who didn’t know me picked it up and read it they’d probably think I was some kind of satanist. Anyway, in case you couldn’t read my sloppy? sleepy? writing, it says: “1 week summoning minor sacrifices sacrif. of loved one. entity from beyond. grant all wishes.”

I can’t even begin to puzzle out what that could mean.